For those of you who don't know, it was a long and demanding process to get the green card. We started in 2015 and didn't get it until the beginning of 2017. It was not only difficult for us, but for our families as well. There was a lot of paperwork. The paperwork in itself wasn't much of a surprise. We had expected that. However, some of it was difficult to get because we weren't in our home countries. We had to rely on family to help us get and send out some of the documents. Beyond gathering all the documents, each step of the process had a fee. So, by the end, we ended up paying a lot for the green card. Time, money, stress, joy, tears, excitement, and disappointment all played a role when we were applying.
Then it happened... we (Ed) was approved! We were in England at the time and I had to leave. I was only allowed to spend 6 out of 12 consecutive months in England. So, I went back to America and waited for Ed to arrive. We were excited and ready to "start our new lives".
When I arrived in the States it was pretty easy for me to find a job. It was not as easy for Ed. He ended up taking a job below his qualifications, just because no one was calling him back. It is UNBELIEVABLY frustrating to see companies advertise vacancies for weeks and never call you or respond in any way (even after you have been reaching out in multiple formats) ... but this is a whole different topic ha ha. Before Ed was offered a job it was obvious we were going to need a second income. So, I took on two jobs. It is HARD to settle in America. Stuff is expensive... like everything is. The majority of our furniture was either from second hand shops or passed down from family members. We were super lucky to be given a head start from my parents. They had recently moved to AZ and let us live in their home back in WI. I honestly don't know what we would have done if we had had to make rent payments. Because Ed was new to the States and hadn't had a job yet, he didn't qualify for state benefits. I found that the health insurance offered was actually more affordable through my employer.... which really confused me. Why would something that is supposed to be offered to help you, be more expensive??
So, basically, we had it good (I had two jobs and we had a roof over our head) and it was still hard. We didn't want to give up though. We are not quitters and did not want to admit defeat. Eventually Ed found a steady job and I was able to work just one. But, this then lead to its own complications. Ed ended up taking a job in a paper mill. This meant long and tiring hours. He worked shift work. So, some days he worked 7am-7pm and other days he worked 7pm-7am. This is quite common for people in my hometown. We have a lot of different manufacturing plants. But, because I was a teacher working during the day we would go days without seeing each other. When we did see each other we were generally too tired to do anything fun or interesting. This was not the kind of life we wanted to live.
Ed got the green card. But, because of the work schedule we had. He has only seen one of the 50 states and not very much of it. People we had met while we were abroad kept saying, "come visit us here" (several different states)! But, we couldn't. We couldn't get time off and even if we could get the time off we couldn't afford it and wouldn't be able to for several years. We weren't alone though. Our friends couldn't come visit us for the very same reasons.
Being close to my family was nice. But, even though we were close in terms of distance, we still barely saw them. Flights to England were cheaper from the States and the flight time was shorter... but if we couldn't visit California there was no way we could fly across the ocean. I genuinely think I saw more of my family and friends when I visited from abroad then when I lived across town from them.
So, was it worth it? Was getting the green card the right choice?? I don't know. It took a lot of time, money and stress. But, without having gone through this experience we wouldn't know what we know now. We probably wouldn't appreciate the opportunity we have in China as much either. Being here brings new opportunities everyday! We are able to see and do things we wouldn't normally be able to. We are not the only ones who feel this way either. There are a few others we know who have left China and returned because life just wasn't working out in their home countries. These are people from ALL OVER the WORLD.
One thing people keep asking me about is what I will do for my retirement. I don't know. I really really don't know. But, don't take this to mean its not something I don't think about. I do. But, I also know that many of my peers and fellow co-workers don't know either. Who knows if social security will be around when I'm eligible (probably not)? Most companies offer a 401k or some other plan. But a lot of people in my generation are too busy paying off debts in order to invest. I'm not saying its true for everyone. But, this is a truth for many Americans in my generation. I am not going to sit there, living a life that makes me miserable in order to hope to maybe someday retire comfortably. Life is waaaaaay to unpredictable for me to put myself in a situation like that.
Sooooo we are in China. I don't know if this is where we will stay for long. I can tell you what we do know. Right now, there isn't a life for us in America. It's a wonderful place to visit, but not where we want to spend the rest of our lives. The American dream is not OUR dream.
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