Take Care of Yourself

Last week I told you all I would talk to you about what "self-care" means to me. For me this isn't spa days and long contemplative walks on the beach (although I definitely wouldn't say no to that). It's more about the day to day just making sure I keep my sanity. 

One of these things would be to eat right. This is something I feel is very hard to do in this country. Cooking is not a problem for me. I love cooking. So, its not that... its the prices of things! Fruits and veggies are expensive and if you want to eat GMO free or Organic... well, get a second job. It amazes me what I pay for food here compared to what I paid for food in China. I don't think it would bother me as much if I saw that the farmers were doing well. I don't claim to be an expert on this... but it just doesn't seem like they are rolling in Benjamins. So, where is all this money going? 

Another thing I used to do more often is exercise. When we would visit England I would go to Zumba twice a week and in China I would run, do yoga, go to Zumba, and just get out and walk or bike more often. This is something that Ed really misses as well. Ed is what I would consider an avid runner. He has run in several races in multiple countries. He used to run on quite a regular basis. But, here it is more when he can fit it in. It's hard with him working shift-work. He can't exhaust himself too much because he has a 12 hour shift coming up that he has to get through. 

One thing I do get to do for self-care here, is taking a bath. I find it relaxing, and I know there are detoxifying benefits as well. This is something I didn't get to do too often when we lived abroad. We only had a bath tub when we were staying in hotels. 

Both Ed and I used to have a lot more time for educational pursuits as well. While we were living abroad we both tried to learn knew languages. Not only of the country we were living in, but other languages as well. I've never been one for studying. When I was in school, I pretty much couldn't wait to graduate. But, as an adult I like being able to choose what I want to learn about. I feel like learning a different language can teach you a lot about the culture of a place as well. 

This is something I have talked about before, but socializing is part of self-care to me. In fact, this weekend we were able to see some friends and we got together for dinner with some family and I felt happy again. I felt HAPPY. It was a feeling I've missed. Usually I am stressing about what the future holds for Ed and I. But, this weekend was different. I was just happy to see people.  So, while some people need "me time" as part of their self-care routine, I need socialization. I get enough "me time" during the week. I could probably do with less "me-time". In fact, I'd say in this country I feel a lot more lonely than I do  than when I'm living abroad. Which is kind of funny when you think about it. In a land where the majority of the people didn't speak the same language as I did, I felt less alone. 

So, I think my self-care routine is pretty basic; eat right, exercise, learn, and socialize...with the occasional bath thrown in there (no worries, I shower on a regular basis). But, I don't feel like I have the time, energy or money to support these habits/goals here. 

What's your self-care routine? How do you make time for you?

Today Is A Good Day

Sorry for the late post! I usually write on Sunday evenings. But, last night Ed came home from work and said lets go on a date. Well, I couldn't say no to THAT! Sooo... we're posting a day late.

I didn't really know what to write about this week. I don't have a specific topic. So, I'm just going to tell you about my week. It was a rough one, but ended well! 

At the beginning of the week Ed was working night shift. That is just never a good time for either of us. I get home from work just after 6 and he is out the door by 6:15 at the latest. On Monday we literally kissed goodbye in the driveway and that was our interaction for the day. It seems that this is typical of the lifestyle here. Especially in this area, where a lot of the jobs are manufacturing jobs. Many of our friends and family members have said this is how they spent years of their lives until they worked "up the ladder". However, last weekend and the beginning of this week my Aunt and Uncle let us borrow their dog (puppy therapy is legit) and that really brightened our mood and helped us to not feel so lonely. The middle of this week seemed to drag on... the weather couldn't make up its mind and it seemed like the weekend would never come. Then Friday I got what I am assuming is the flu (only lasted 24hrs)... that was AWFUL and Ed was on 12 hour days. So, I was alone and sick and when he came home he was tired. Saturday was a good day for me. I got A LOT done around the house, I went grocery shopping and I cleaned Huey's cage. Sunday I didn't feel like doing much of anything.... So, I didn't. Ed came home after working 3 days of 12 hour shifts and wanted to take me out on a date!! It was great. I knew he was exhausted. But, he tried not to show it. Its really amazing how the simplest gesture (like opening the door and letting me go first) can still make my heart melt. He knows how to make me smile. 

Beyond the end of this week when Ed took me for a date; this is very typical of our life here in America, and from what I can tell it's a typical week for most people. You don't see your friends, you don't see much of your family, and yet you still don't have much time to focus on you. You would think if you're not seeing people very often you would have a lot of time for self-care. But, that doesn't seem to be the case. I guess it's because it's not that you don't see people: It's that the only people you see are your colleagues. I have to admit. I have some pretty great, kind and understanding colleagues. But, it's still not the same, I need friendships and I need my husband. I also need time to focus on me. Maybe that will be our focus for my next blog entry. What self care means to me. Anyways... 

Today I am off of work. I will be off of work for awhile now. Until our next adventure begins. Today, I feel more like myself than I have in months. I can feel a smile on my face without forcing it. Ed wants to take me on ANOTHER date tonight (it may be Tbell, but thats ok). He makes me feel like the luckiest girl. I know he would do anything to make sure I am happy. Its great to be in a relationship where you both feel that way. Today is a good day. 

Make a Life

On an almost daily basis, I get asked what it is I miss about China. Sometime its hard to put into words what I miss. But, I will do my best. This week I told Ed to write down 10 things that he missed and I would do the same. So here are my 10 things:

1. My friends: Of course when I am in China I miss my friends and family in the States. But, its different there. I saw my friends on a daily basis in China. I had weekly gatherings with them as well. The lifestyle led to being able to be much more social then I am now. 

2. Time I got to spend with Ed: This one is HUGE. If you've been following my blog you know that my husband and I barely get to see each other here. Its hard and I am not a fan. 

3. Feeling like I made a difference: I felt like I truly made a difference in my students lives. It was so great to connect with them. I also felt like I made a difference in my friends' lives and they made a difference in mine. 

4. THE FOOD: Until you try authentic Chinese food, I cannot fully explain this to you. Its. Just. So. Good. 

5. The flexibility of my day to day schedule: In China my schedule varied based on my class schedule. I had a lot more free time than I do here and was able to decide if I wanted to go shopping, or running, or climbing a mountain whenever I felt like it. 

6. Paid Vacations: Summer and Winter holidays were paid. We were able to visit friends and family back home and not worry that our bank accounts would be empty upon returning. 

7. The ease of forming new relationships: It was easy to bond with other foreigners because we were all going through similar life experiences. It was also easy to make friends with Chinese people because they were so eager to share their culture with you. 

8. The opportunity for travel: Not only did we get to travel back and forth to the city we worked in, but we got to explore a whole new country! If we were to go back, I'd like to also explore the countries near to China. Travel is so much more affordable on that side of the globe.

9. Time I had to spend bettering my health: I was able to cook more at home, and fruits and vegetables were CHEAP. I was also able to run more and attend exercise classes much more frequently. Here, I am either working when the classes are available or just too exhausted. 

10. The feeling of adventure: Even going to buy a banana could become an experience over there. I miss that. 

Ed's 10 things were a lot like mine, food, friends, travel etc... But, he also had the fact that he was able to study languages when he was there. He not only studied Chinese but Russian and Arabic as well. He didn't get to master them but he had the time to try! He also misses the mountain. When we lived in Shaoxing we lived right across the street from a mountain. It was on that mountain top that he proposed to me. 

There is a quote that I am often reminded of here. Its very cliche, but I think it is also very true. "Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life". I feel like its something a lot of people say but don't follow. For me, its something I want to follow. I want to experience life. Right now, I feel as though I am just getting through each day to get to the next. This is not what I want to remember when I am old and reminiscing. 

Making this list has served a dual purpose. I can finally answer those who have asked AND we have had the chance to really think about what it is in life that we want/don't want. We may not know where we want to be. But, we now know the type of life we want to lead. We don't want to simply go through the motions. We want to make a difference and make experiences. 

New Year, New Life

We have officially completed week one of the new year. Go us! The only resolution I made this year was to find more happiness. This hasn't been something I've struggled with in a long time (think typical sullen teenager). I have always been the type of person to find the silver lining in situations, to the point where I've been told its annoying. But, that never stopped me. Until this past year. I just got tired of being "beaten" down. It seemed like everytime something good would happen in life, something bad (often 2 somethings) soon followed. For example, after Ed got his first job in America the company he worked for soon started having layoffs and his car broke down and I was exhausted from working two jobs. So, we went from YAY a job... to just kidding, no work for you and double work for the wife...oh and you have an extra expense now too!

Thats all about to change. Ed and I are making positive life changes. Life is still very stressful and we still barely see each other. But, we are doing something about it. I won't quite tell you what yet... you'll have to keep reading to find that out. We aren't going to sit around here though, complaining that we don't like our situation and do nothing about it. 

So, here are my silver linings from the week. I tried a new recipe that I had to mess around with because I didn't have all the ingredients and it turned out great. I got to Facetime with my parents multiple times this week, which is not something we usually have time for. I got to spend some time with both sets of grandparents, whom I am lucky to still have in my life. I also got to have lunch and chat with my Aunt. Because of the holiday in the beginning of the week, I was able to spend a chunk of time cleaning the house (now we just need to keep it this way). And most importantly, even through stress and tears I have an amazing husband who I get to go through life with. 

I hope you all can find the silver linings in your life. Its hard, I know, but they are there. And if you can't find them... make them.